top of page
  • Instagram

Not Belonging

Writer's picture: Janet ShigekoJanet Shigeko

"Who am I?"


This is a question I've been asking myself for almost a decade.

I think everyone does ask this question once in a while.


I was born in a family moves quiet a lot.

I've lived in a few different countries and several different cities.

Whenever I was asked where I'm from, I usually say


"I'm from Japan"


and it's not wrong.

My parents are Japanese and I speak Japanese the most fluently.

But....I've lived outside Japan more than I've lived in Japan.


So am I really a Japanese?


I feel like I'm more Japanese when I'm outside Japan.

I feel like I'm more foreigner when I'm in Japan.


I look back what I have said, ate, saw, liked, disliked, etc.

and I thought I can find who I am


But I couldn't.


All the memories I had in my mind were me saying something peculiar and people around me didn't know how to react to what I've said.


I was sad and felt



lonely


This past few years, however,


I think I know


who I am.


I always felt lonely for not belonging in Japanese community.

But I don't need to belong in anywhere.


I should love myself as who I am; who doesn't completely belong anywhere.


It's still in progress to have a healthy mindset of loving myself as who I am.

Sometimes I look back a lot and put a heavy weight on my back because I did said or acted like the people around me.



It's a long journey but hopefully, the day I can fully accept myself is soon to be arrived.







2 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page