"Who am I?"
This is a question I've been asking myself for almost a decade.
I think everyone does ask this question once in a while.
I was born in a family moves quiet a lot.
I've lived in a few different countries and several different cities.
Whenever I was asked where I'm from, I usually say
"I'm from Japan"
and it's not wrong.
My parents are Japanese and I speak Japanese the most fluently.
But....I've lived outside Japan more than I've lived in Japan.
So am I really a Japanese?
I feel like I'm more Japanese when I'm outside Japan.
I feel like I'm more foreigner when I'm in Japan.
I look back what I have said, ate, saw, liked, disliked, etc.
and I thought I can find who I am
But I couldn't.
All the memories I had in my mind were me saying something peculiar and people around me didn't know how to react to what I've said.
I was sad and felt
lonely
This past few years, however,
I think I know
who I am.
I always felt lonely for not belonging in Japanese community.
But I don't need to belong in anywhere.
I should love myself as who I am; who doesn't completely belong anywhere.
It's still in progress to have a healthy mindset of loving myself as who I am.
Sometimes I look back a lot and put a heavy weight on my back because I did said or acted like the people around me.
It's a long journey but hopefully, the day I can fully accept myself is soon to be arrived.

Comments